One of the most important concepts that every writer today must embrace is the idea of a “personal brand business.”

But what does it mean to have a personal brand? It comes down to the fact that your brand equals you. What you do and say in your business is a reflection of who you are personally. When people think of your brand, they think of you. And when they think of you, they think of your brand.

This is a challenging concept because the lines get blurry at times. If you have a personal brand, as I do and you probably do as well, you care about your clients or customers on a personal level. You are emotionally involved in your business at a deep level. You spend a lot of time thinking about your business and working on it.

Therefore, it’s a challenge to keep our business and personal lives separate. In a world of personal brand business and increased transparency on social media, it might even be impossible. But we still need to remember that at the end of the day, we are running a BUSINESS, not a hobby.

I’m a huge movie buff. In fact, I love movies and storytelling so much that I used to teach several college courses related to those topics. Movies are stories are a great lens into human nature and psychology.

One of my favorite movies is The Godfather, from 1972. It’s a classic movie with so many great quotes and scenes. Although it’s a great piece of entertainment, there are many business lessons to be learned from The Godfather. There is a reason that many men cite The Godfather as their favorite movie. It has so much to teach us about business, manhood, fatherhood, family, and so much else.

(Note that I didn’t say all the lessons were positive. Sometimes we learn from negative examples.)

One of my favorite scenes from The Godfather happens close to halfway through the film. Let me give you a little context first. The story centers around a mafia family who is facing off against several other New York crime families in the 1940’s. The father, Vito Corleone, was shot by a rival family because he refused to enter the drug business, which he regards as too dangerous. The mafia man who orchestrated the drug business proposal is Virgil Sollozzo, who wanted his revenge since he needed the Corleone family’s cash and political influence to get his drug business off the ground.

Are you with me so far? Good.

While Vito is in the hospital recovering, his youngest son Michael visits and discovers that the rival family is planning to kill his father. He stands in front of the hospital and manages to ward off the would-be assassins, but the police show up. Remember that in the world of The Godfather, the police are corrupt.

The police captain is angry with Michael because his plans are messed up, and he proceeds to rough up Michael. This angers Vito’s oldest son, named Sonny, and he orders a hit on the rival family in the middle of the night. As a result, the rival family wants to have a meeting with the Corleone family to reach an agreement before things get really out of hand.

This brings us to the scene I mentioned. The next day, all Vito’s sons have a meeting and Sonny is thrilled because he’s put his rivals in a corner. Sonny has a bad temper and he wants to destroy them. He’s responding to the situation emotionally and insists on starting an all-out war with his rivals.

One of the other sons, Tom, has a different response. He is the family consigliere, which is an advisory role. He’s looking at the situation with logic and reason, and as Sonny is insisting on an all-out war, Tom says, “It’s business, not personal.”

I want you to think about that phrase very carefully. “It’s business, not personal.” What does that mean, and how does it apply to our business?

It means that even though we may have friendships with clients (or prospective clients) … even though we want to maintain great relationships … even though we may offer great services or products … even though sometimes people don’t rise to our expectations … we must remember that at the end of the day, this is a BUSINESS.

It’s hard sometimes not to take things personally, but it’s vital if we want to be emotionally healthy and have a lasting business.

I can think of many times the last two years when I have personally liked a client, or a potential client, but have been disappointed in a result. For example, I remember a time when I sent a proposal to a potential client who had indicated she was very interested in working with me. I had even done some sample work to prove my value, and she raved about it to others.

However, when I sent the proposal she decided not to follow through. Of course, I was disappointed and wanted the work. But it had nothing to do with me personally. It was simply a business decision on their part.

It’s easy to take rejection personally. Sometimes people don’t answer our emails. Sometimes they don’t reciprocate or express appreciation when we promote their stuff on social media. Sometimes we make a proposal or pitch an idea and we don’t get the response we want.

In fact, I can think of a situation right now where a high-level author has agreed to consider writing a foreword for one of my client books, but I’ve had an extraordinarily hard time getting them to engage with me on social media or email. They have a very successful business they’re running, so I get it, but it still amounts to being rejected because answering my messages is not their priority right now, and that’s okay.

If you want to have a real business, you’re going to get rejected. That’s just part of the game of business. In fact, that’s how I’ve begun to think of this whole thing: as a game. I love games, and thinking of business as a sort of game takes the emotion out of it.

And it’s helpful to look at this from the other point of view, as well. How many times has someone proposed something to you, but you didn’t accept it? We seem to constantly have people in our neighborhood who are selling siding, lawn services, and other stuff. It’s rare that I say “yes” because most of the time, it’s not something we want or need. It’s not personal—it’s just a business decision.

This is a challenge to you and me to not take things personally when things don’t go our way. Remember that every reaction gets you closer to the next “yes.”

So remember: It’s business. It’s not personal.