Have you ever felt like you live in a room with invisible walls that have you trapped? You’re trapped by questions like this:

Why does that so-and-so writer get all the attention?

Why do they have more book sales?

Why is my blog traffic so stagnant?

Why isn’t anyone paying attention to me?

Sound familiar?

If you have ever had these kinds of questions, stop and realize that there is no connection between another person’s success and yours. The invisible walls aren’t real. They only exist in your mind, and there is nothing—and no one—that stands in the way of your success.

When you engage in this kind of comparison thinking, it’s because of a poverty mentality. This type of thinking says: There’s only so much success to go around. You must horde everything for yourself.

The opposite of a poverty mentality is an abundance mentality. This line of thinking goes: There is more than enough to go around. Success breeds success. We can help each other.

How do you move from a poverty mentality to an abundance mentality? How do you stop playing the zero-sum game? How do you vanquish the spirit of jealousy and cultivate a spirit of generosity?

The secret is to shift your vocabulary and begin asking the right questions.

In his classic business book QBQ! The Question Behind the Question: Practicing Personal Accountability at Work and in Life, John G. Miller says that we need to change our questions in order to move away from a blame and victim mentality. Instead of focusing on “why” questions, focus on “what” or “how” questions.

The question that spurs our jealousy is, “Why do they have ______, and I don’t?” The problem with “why” questions is that they shift the responsibility away from ourselves and onto others. The only way to create the success you desire is to take 100% responsibility for your life.

“Why” questions keep us focused on external things we can’t control, such as other people’s actions and motivations. It’s much better to ask questions focused on “what”—what you can do, what you can control, what you can learn. After all, the only thing you can truly control is yourself and your actions.

All the emotional energy we spend on being jealous of other people and their success is much better invested in activities that help us be successful.

Daily Question: What is one single activity, that if you practiced it consistently, could help you be more successful as a writer?