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If there is one word that describes our modern, hectic lifestyles, it’s “obligation.” 

We are connected 24/7 to our devices, and literally anyone in the world with a smartphone can reach out to us. Our inboxes are filled with email from marketers, influencers, clients, people who want something from us … and hopefully sometimes, from friends who are checking in. Our social media feeds are crammed full of posts and advertisements that demand our attention right now, this very second. And we feel obligated to respond to all of it.

But how much of this stuff is really necessary to our overall goals? How much of it can help us become better writers or achieve the things that are important to us?

This is not a new struggle. In fact, a Roman emperor named Marcus Aurelius struggled with this as well. He did not have a social media feed or email, but he had an endless stream of demands pouring at him every day.

His private journals are collected in an amazing book called Meditations. Here is what he wrote in one passage: “‘If you seek tranquility, do less.’ … Because most of what we say and do is not essential. If you can eliminate it, you’ll have more time, and more tranquility. Ask yourself at every moment, ‘Is this necessary?’”

It may feel like everything that comes at you in a day’s time is completely necessary, but it’s not. Is it necessary to accept every meeting request? Is it necessary to check your email 17 times each day? Is it necessary to spend so much time on social media keeping up with everyone else and engaging in every conversation?

If you want to feel less stress and more peace—or as Marcus Aurelius puts it, more tranquility—then ask yourself at every moment, “Is this really necessary?” The amount of times the answer is “no” may surprise you.