Have you ever sat in a coffee shop and listened to the conversations happening around you? It’s fascinating.

99% of the time, people are only talking about themselves. Almost everyone in every social situation makes a conversation about them. It is rare to hear someone who is listening empathetically to the other person who is speaking.

It is so rare to listen empathetically because it is so hard to do. It is hard to put our own ego and agenda aside and listen with our full attention to what someone else is saying. To not only listen to the words, but also the emotion and the intent behind it.

In fact, communication experts have told us for decades that there’s far more communication happening in the facial gestures and body language of people than there is in their words. To go even a step further, our words are sometimes even designed to hide what we are really thinking and feeling.

That is why critical listening is so important. It is not only a key part of relating with people, it is also a way for us to learn about human nature. When we listen, it gives us ideas for our writing, whether fiction or nonfiction, and it helps us to better understand other people and ourselves. What could possibly be more important for us as writers than understanding people?

So the next time you’re sitting in a coffee shop or somewhere else where there are conversations happening all around you, listen and learn. Observe the people who are only talking about themselves, but also try to listen for those who are truly paying attention to other people.

It is an interesting social experiment. But it can also help you become a better listener yourself, a skill that pays huge dividends no matter what type of writing you do.