All this week, I’m sharing excerpts from a book I published a few years ago. It’s called The Artist’s Suitcase: 26 Essentials for the Creative Journey. It’s a short, fun read for all kinds of artists, particularly for writers.

Here’s today’s excerpt from the chapter, “S is for Secure.”

A few years ago, our family decided to get a dog. We discovered a sweet Australian shepherd named Madison at the local animal shelter. She had been abused by her former owner and was terrified of men. It took several months before she would even let me pet her.

Madison has changed a lot over the last three years but she still needs constant affirmation. We could pet her for hours every day and it would still not fill her emotional tank. There’s a part of Madison that will always be needy and insecure.

The word insecure means “subject to fears, doubts, etc.; not self-confident or assured.” You and I can easily fall into this emotional state if we’re not careful. As artists, we crave approval and affirmation. But we can take it too far if we are not emotionally healthy ourselves. As an artist who is constantly putting your work out there, you must be secure in your identity and self-worth.

If you want to be a more secure artist, it helps to recognize the signs of insecurity. This is useful for identifying and correcting our unhealthy emotional patterns. It’s easy to see these patterns in others, yet completely miss them when it comes to our own hearts.

By the way, how do I know these five signs so well? Because I have been guilty of all of them at times. Maybe you have as well.

1. An insecure artist constantly finds fault with others.

When my son Ben was in fourth grade, I had a conversation with him about school bullies. He asked why some kids pick on others. I explained that some people feel so badly about themselves that the only way they can feel better is to drag everyone else down with them. Sadly, some people keep doing this way past the fourth grade.

2. An insecure artist can’t accept constructive criticism.

No one likes to be criticized, but even the most stinging criticism can contain a kernel of truth. An insecure person is not mature enough to see the kernel of truth and learn from it. They can dish it out, but can’t take it.

Early in my teaching career, I received a nasty email from a student. He criticized me pretty harshly about my leadership of our music program. I felt angry that he had the nerve to send me such a critical note. Plus, I wanted to dismiss his comments since he wasn’t a good student.

But in my heart, I knew the truth: there was a bit of accuracy to his statements. There were several areas in which I was coming up short.

3. An insecure artist always wonders what everybody else thinks.

He can’t make his own decisions because he is too concerned about other people’s approval. He is constantly asking what everyone else thinks about this or that.

When others give you advice, treat it like a set of crutches. They can help you move in the right direction, but rely on them too long and you’ll eventually be too weak to stand on your own.

4. An insecure artist relies on external measurements for his sense of self-worth.

There are many ways that insecure people measure their worth: their car, house, clothing, personal appearance, titles, friends and associates, income, size of their business or organization, degrees and awards, and even the success of their children.

None of these things is bad. In fact, they can all be wonderful things when put in the proper perspective. But none of them is a true measurement of your value as a person. I have known a lot of people with money, academic degrees, and all kinds of outward signs of “success,” yet who were unhappy and insecure.

You can’t base your self-worth on the shifting tides of people’s opinions and other external measurements. Instead, base your confidence on these three things:

• Knowing who you are (confidence in your gifts and purpose).
• Knowing who loves you (confidence in the unconditional love of those closest to you).
• Knowing whose child you are (confidence in your eternal standing as a beloved child of God).

5. An insecure artist sees everyone as a competitor.

He doesn’t have the emotional maturity to compliment, encourage, or publicly support others without expecting something in return. He can’t be happy for other people when they succeed; he thinks a win for someone else means a loss for him.

I mentioned this idea in the chapter on generosity, but it’s so important it bears repeating: An insecure person sees success as a limited pie where there’s only so much to go around. If you get a bigger piece, that means there’s less for me, right?

A secure person sees himself and everyone else as having unlimited potential for success. He doesn’t see others as competitors, but as fellow travelers on the creative journey. He knows that your success means his success, and vice-versa. He knows that a rising tide lifts all ships.

Secure people create art from a place of generosity.

Insecure people create art from a place of fear.

Guess which type of person has more fun? More friends? More influence and success?

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I hope you enjoyed that short excerpt from The Artist’s Suitcase: 26 Essentials for the Creative Journey. You can grab the book by visiting https://kentsanders.net/suitcase.