This is the sixth entry in our mini-series on dealing with rejection.

When your writing has been rejected—or at least, when you perceive that it has—you respond emotionally. And that’s totally natural. We all respond emotionally when we’re hurt.

And what do we do when we’re hurt? We lash out. We want retribution. We find a way to strike back.

Here’s a mistake you want to avoid, though. Don’t lash out on social media or elsewhere in public. It could also be a blog, podcast, speech, or some other medium. The point is: don’t say anything to burn a bridge.

Unless you have an extremely good reason, you shouldn’t publicly criticize an individual or an organization. You will look petty and vindictive, you will damage relationships, you will create tension, you will probably harm future prospects and opportunities, and you will repel people with your negativity.

Some people do make a living criticizing others. Lots of pundits, YouTubers, and podcasters base their whole platform on what they are against, instead of what they are for. That’s certainly your choice if you want to take that approach, but I don’t recommend it.

Instead, here is what I DO recommend: vent somewhere in private. This is what good friends, therapists, and journals are for. But for goodness’ sake, don’t say something you will regret. In our age of instant worldwide communication, you can ruin your whole career with just a few sentences. This is exactly what Roseanne Barr did a few years ago when she got herself fired from the revival of her own TV show “Roseanne” when she posted a critical and racially insensitive tweet.

Remember, it only takes one match to burn down a bridge. In the moments when you feel like venting, hold your tongue. The damage you will do is not worth it.

Daily Question: When is the last time you said something you later regretted? What did that moment of satisfaction cost you?

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As writers, we spend a lot of time worrying about people who don’t like our writing. But what happens when you are the one who hates someone else’s book? 

Maybe it’s an author whose marketing you can’t stand. Maybe you read a novel that you thought was poorly written. Maybe you completely disagreed with an author’s perspective on politics, religion, parenting, or a hundred other topics. 

The point is, you’re mad at the author. Now you must decide what to do with that anger. 

Mark Twain was a writer who didn’t mince words, even when it came to his feelings about other writers. He said this: “I haven’t any right to criticize books, and I don’t do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can’t conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read Pride and Prejudice I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone.” 

Something tells me that Mark Twain would have lasted about three minutes on social media! 

Maybe you have felt that way about another writer. It’s tempting to want to leave a negative review or post a sarcastic comment on social media. But most of the time, we would do well to follow the Golden Rule: do unto others what you would have them do unto you. 

In other words, be nice. Be kind. And if you can’t say anything nice, it’s best not to say anything at all.  

More than anyone else, we writers understand the power of our words. But sometimes that power is best kept to ourselves. 

Remember that a book isn’t for everyone. Your book isn’t for everyone, and sometimes another author’s book is not for you. 

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