This is the fifth entry in our mini-series on dealing with rejection.

If you saw the 2009 movie Star Trek, which was, of course, a reboot of the classic TV show, you might remember the scene where Spock gets into a fight with Kirk, then steps down from his command. The reason was that he was “emotionally compromised.” Spock knew that if he couldn’t control his emotions, it would prevent him from making good decisions as a commander.

We all feel rejection sometimes. It might come in the form of not getting the results you wanted from a project or book launch. Maybe you weren’t chosen for a writing job or position. Or you might just be having a bad day.

Whatever the source of your pain, remember to stop and assess. Take a moment to check in with yourself. When you’re in pain, the easiest thing to do is to seek comfort and validation from somewhere else. You might be tempted to turn to a substance like drugs, alcohol, or food to numb the pain. Or you might turn to an inappropriate relationship with another person who makes you feel good. You might even try to make yourself feel better by accepting work or an opportunity that’s not right for you, just to make yourself feel better.

None of those actions are good. You can’t make good decisions when you are emotionally compromised. Make sure you’re getting enough rest. Take care of yourself. Check in and assess where you are. Talk to a good friend.

Most of all, don’t do anything self-destructive and don’t make any rash decisions. We are all prone to doing stupid and self-destructive things when we feel rejected. Don’t make it worse by dragging yourself down even further.

Daily Question: What is one specific action you can take to avoid self-destructive behavior the next time you are feeling rejected? Be specific.

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If you get heavily involved in the writing community, you have to be careful. Why? Because there is a whole sub-industry devoted to writing tools that supposedly help you be more productive and creative.

Are many of these helpful? Yes, of course. For example, I swear by the writing app Scrivener. I write almost everything in Scrivener and cannot imagine doing my writing without it. It’s an amazing tool to help you organize your material, especially for bigger projects.

Google docs? Not so much. I find Google docs to be clunky and slow, and it’s very hard to quickly access material in Google docs if you have a lot of different pieces of information tied to a project.

But that’s just my opinion, of course. My opinion and $1.50 will get you a drink from a vending machine. You have to do what works for YOU.

It’s important to not get too obsessed with specific writing tools. The only measure you should use to determine whether a tool or app is good is whether it helps you get your writing done easier.

John Steinbeck once said, “Pencils must be round. A hexagonal pencil cuts my fingers after a long day.” Well, that was true for HIM but it may not have been true for every writer. The point is to figure out what helps you, then get busy writing.

Don’t get paralyzed by indecision. Just pick something and start writing. Focus on the work and don’t get too hung up on what tools everybody else is using.

Daily Question: Are you focusing on doing the work instead of over-analyzing which writing tools to use?

The post Do Writing Tools Matter? Yes & No. appeared first on Daily Writer | Essential Habits for Impact & Influence.

There is a common trait among successful writers, and it has nothing to do with skill, talent, genre, or style. Instead, it has everything to do with taking responsibility for your own life choices.

Most people are passive observers of their own lives. They accept the choices that life hands to them. They assume what they see other people doing is what they should be doing also. They go along with the crowd, never rock the boat, and never achieve their dreams.

On the other hand, successful writers know that life is not a multiple-choice test. If they don’t like the options in front of them, they create new ones.

How do we do this? We do this by taking advantage of all the amazing opportunities we have today as writers. There is an almost unlimited number of opportunities for you to get your work in front of readers and make a good living while doing it.

Is it hard to strike out on your own pathway while everyone around you is conforming to social norms? While everyone else is doing what other people expect? While everyone else is not writing books or putting in the work to build their own writing business?

Of course it’s challenging. Nobody said this would be easy. But if you are going to make something happen, this is not the time to be passive. This is not the time to limit your options. The world is a giant buffet of opportunity. Will you take advantage of it?

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One of the most famous lines from Shakespeare’s Hamlet is “To be or not to be, that is the question.” More than a line in a famous play, it’s also the central idea of the writer’s life.

The American novelist Paul Theroux said, “You can’t want to be a writer, you have to be one.” Being is an entirely different state than wanting. Almost everyone wants to be a writer… but far fewer people do the work of being a writer.

Is it possible that we overcomplicate what it means to be a writer? We have all kinds of emotional attachments to our writing. We connect it to our self-worth, our vocation, our value to society, our legacy, and so much more.

Maybe it’s actually much simpler than that. Maybe it just means that we sit down and do the work of writing. No fuss, no complications, no drama. We simply do what’s required that day.

“To be or not to be, that is the question.” What will be your answer?

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You don’t have to wait to get planted in a different garden. You don’t need to wait for someone else to pour into you. You can bloom right where you’re planted by investing in yourself and taking advantage of all the resources and opportunities right at your fingertips.

The post Bloom Where You’re Planted appeared first on Daily Writer | Essential Habits for Impact & Influence.

First of all, you should never give a teacher that much power over your life. And second of all, the skills you need to be successful as a writer don’t have much to do with what you learned in English class. 

Nevertheless, some students look at their bad grades and wonder, “Am I cut out to be a writer?” I want to challenge this question because it assumes that you are either born a writer, or you aren’t. In reality, you aren’t born anything… you choose to be what you want to be. If you want to be a writer, it’s completely within your power to do so. 

Here are some wise words from the author R.L. Stine:  

“People say, ‘What advice do you have for people who want to be writers?’ I say, they don’t really need advice, they know they want to be writers, and they’re gonna do it. Those people who know that they really want to do this and are cut out for it, they know it.” 

In other words, what makes you “cut out” to be a writer is the fact that you choose to do this work. You don’t need anyone putting their mantle on you or giving you approval. It’s just something you decide to do.  

The only question that remains is… do you want to be cut out for it? 

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