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This is the fifth entry in our mini-series on dealing with rejection.

If you saw the 2009 movie Star Trek, which was, of course, a reboot of the classic TV show, you might remember the scene where Spock gets into a fight with Kirk, then steps down from his command. The reason was that he was “emotionally compromised.” Spock knew that if he couldn’t control his emotions, it would prevent him from making good decisions as a commander.

We all feel rejection sometimes. It might come in the form of not getting the results you wanted from a project or book launch. Maybe you weren’t chosen for a writing job or position. Or you might just be having a bad day.

Whatever the source of your pain, remember to stop and assess. Take a moment to check in with yourself. When you’re in pain, the easiest thing to do is to seek comfort and validation from somewhere else. You might be tempted to turn to a substance like drugs, alcohol, or food to numb the pain. Or you might turn to an inappropriate relationship with another person who makes you feel good. You might even try to make yourself feel better by accepting work or an opportunity that’s not right for you, just to make yourself feel better.

None of those actions are good. You can’t make good decisions when you are emotionally compromised. Make sure you’re getting enough rest. Take care of yourself. Check in and assess where you are. Talk to a good friend.

Most of all, don’t do anything self-destructive and don’t make any rash decisions. We are all prone to doing stupid and self-destructive things when we feel rejected. Don’t make it worse by dragging yourself down even further.

Daily Question: What is one specific action you can take to avoid self-destructive behavior the next time you are feeling rejected? Be specific.

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What do powerful words look like?

When you think of powerful words, you probably imagine Abraham Lincoln delivering the Gettysburg Address, or JFK giving a speech about America’s mission to go to the moon. Or maybe you imagine an author like Maya Angelou talking about how she overcame a difficult childhood.

But powerful words aren’t just reserved for classic speeches or world-renowned books. You have powerful words, too. In fact, there is a single two-letter word that has more power than anything else in your vocabulary.

But first, a quote from E.B. White, who was the author of classic children’s books such as Stuart Little and Charlotte’s Web. He was also the second half of the Strunk & White duo, who was responsible for ​The Elements of Style​—the best little book every writer should read.

He said, “I must decline, for secret reasons.” We do not know the reasons he declined, but we do know this: he said “no” to an invitation and he didn’t elaborate on the reasons. He was confident enough in his reasoning to let his simple “no” be a no.

“No” is such a small word—just two simple letters. But it has immense power because it can give you the freedom to make time for your writing and focus on what is most important to you.

You have a lot of things pulling you in different directions. It’s OK to say no. You can’t do everything, and you can’t please everybody.

If your writing is going to be a priority, you must make time and space in our lives to write. That means saying no sometimes. It’s easier said than done. But if you want to reach your full potential as a writer, you must focus on doing the work that matters, rather than trying to make everybody else happy.

That little two-letter word, NO, is the key to your success.

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