This episode is for all the writers who struggle to be outgoing.

I get it—most of us writers are introverts. We get our energy by spending time alone rather than spending it with people. But the reality is that people need to be a huge part of our lives as writers. After all, we’re not writing just for OURSELVES… we’re also writing for other people.

There is also the side of writing that has nothing to do with the writing part. It’s going to conferences, sending emails, being active on social media, going to meetups or masterminds, being active in your community, building good working relationships with editors and publishers, and so much more.

It turns out that a big part of being a successful writer has nothing to do with the writing itself.

There was once a time when you could get by with being a hermit or a curmudgeon as a writer. In the years before social media, if you were lucky enough to have a publishing deal, you would basically write and the publisher would do everything else. But that’s not the case anymore. The bottom line is that you have to relate to people. You have to be friendly and engaging.

Friendliness and being a warm relational human being is a choice. It’s not a personality trait. There is nothing good or positive about being a curmudgeon. Zip. Zero. Nada. It doesn’t serve you in any way.

So, if you struggle with this aspect of your writing life, just know you can build a habit of warmth and friendliness. You can make the choice to smile and be pleasant. It’s a habit you can build just like any other.

Daily Question: What can you do today in your interactions with others to show friendliness and warmth?

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We writers have the well-earned reputation for not being the best at people skills, which is unfortunate because it’s certainly not always true. Writing is a people-centered business even though we spend a good amount of time sitting in front of a screen typing.

Nevertheless, there is always room for improvement. Even if you’re an outgoing people person, you can always use a reminder of the basics. Here are four key people skills every writer needs.

1. Look people in the eye when speaking to them. This communicates that you’re engaged. Even if you’re on a Zoom call, look at the camera instead of looking at the person on your screen. It makes a difference in the way the other person perceives your relatability and social skills.

2. Smile when you greet people. Those first few moments of an interaction make a huge difference in how the whole conversation will go. Even if you’re not feeling it, smile anyway and you will start to feel happier soon. This also works on Zoom calls. Those first few seconds of the calls will generally determine how the conversation will go.

3. Be a listener. In our world of short attention spans, it’s hard to listen carefully. But this is an area where we writers excel. It’s been said, “God gave us two ears and one mouth because we should listen twice as much as we speak.” That’s probably true. When you listen and ask good questions, you draw out the best in others.

4. Answer messages quickly. Whether it’s social media messages, text messages, or emails, make sure to get back to people quickly. The standard is 24-48 hours. You will immediately stand out from others when you do this, since many people take a long time to answer messages. It communicates that you are responsive and attentive.

Those are just a few important people skills for writers. When you practice them consistently, you will have better relationships and more success. These little things make a huge difference.

Daily Question: Which one of these is an area where you need the most work?

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