Here’s just one example. A number of years ago, an aspiring author decided he wanted to write a book about the key personal decisions that determine personal success. Except he didn’t want to write it in the traditional non-fiction format. Instead, he wanted to teach the concepts in the form of a story.

He spent a year writing the book, then proceeded to submit it to a publisher. It was rejected, so he moved onto the next one. Rejected again.

The author tried a third and a fourth time. Still more rejection. Pretty soon, he worked his way up to a dozen rejections. Still no dice. So he kept pushing forward, submitting the book to more publishers. This went on for another dozen rejections. Then another dozen, and another dozen still.

Then after spending three and a half years, and getting rejected by 51 publishers, he struck gold when Thomas Nelson publishers gave him a green light. That book was The Traveler’s Gift, and the author was Andy Andrews, whose books have now sold over three million copies worldwide.

Andy Andrews tried 52 times before he got what he wanted. This may sound like an extreme example, but the story of persevering in the face of obstacles is common in the publishing world. Even if you are self-publishing, you will face challenges, setbacks, and problems that require you to dig down deep and keep moving when things aren’t going your way.

This historical novelist James Michener once said, “Character consists of what you do on the third and fourth tries.” There are a lot of writers with talent, but not all of them have the character and discipline to keep going in the face of rejection.

How about you? What are you up against in your writing? Are you willing to be persistent? How many times are you willing to try?

Because you may not have success on the third or fourth tries. It might just take 52.

The post How Many Times Are You Willing to Try? appeared first on Daily Writer | Essential Habits for Impact & Influence.

One of Aesop’s best-known fables is “The Tortoise and the Hare.” You’ve probably heard the story before. The hare challenges the tortoise to a race, confident he will win by a long shot. The race begins and the hare gets so far ahead of the tortoise that he takes a nap.

When the hare wakes up, he finds that the tortoise kept moving and won the race!

We can learn a lot from the tortoise. It may take a while to get where we’re going, but if we persist, we’ll eventually get there.

There are times when you’ll feel like giving up on your writing goals. Whatever you’re working on, it’s important to be persistent and work through the problems that make it harder to reach the finish line.

Matthew Weiner, the creator of the hit TV series Mad Men, knows a thing or two about persistence. He said,

“It took seven years from the time I wrote Mad Men until it finally got on the screen. I lived every day with that script as if it were going to happen tomorrow. That’s the faith you have to have. Hollywood is tough, but I do believe that if you are truly talented, get your material out there, can put up with rejection, and don’t set a time limit for yourself, someone will notice you.”

It’s easy to get sidelined by problems on the creative journey. But you must persist and keep on doing the work you’re called to do. There’s too much at stake for you to throw in the towel.

Remember the lesson from the tortoise and the hare: slow and steady wins the race.

Daily Question: As you look at the projects you’re working on now, where do you need to be slow and steady? And what does it mean for you to win the race?

The post Slow & Steady Wins the Race appeared first on Daily Writer | Essential Habits for Impact & Influence.

This is the seventh and final entry in our mini-series on dealing with rejection.

Rejection is not fun, but it still has an important place in our business and creative lives. When you’re rejected or criticized, it forces you to ask tough questions like these:

Is this something I should have been doing in the first place?

Do I really, truly want to be doing this?

Even though I’m in love with this idea, does this person have a point?

How can I make this idea better?

The people who have rained on your parade have done you a great service. They have forced you to decide whether you should be doing this thing in the first place… and if the answer is YES, they have forced you to consider how it can be improved.

Rejection and criticism are like the refining process for precious metals. They make you more pure and more valuable. They bring out the best.

So even though you might be irritated right now, you can still be grateful because those unkind words are helping you become a better version of yourself.

Daily Question: Think of the most reject time you’ve been rejected. How did it make you better or help you have a clearer vision of what you want to accomplish as a writer?

The post Are You Grateful for Your Critics? appeared first on Daily Writer | Essential Habits for Impact & Influence.

This is the sixth entry in our mini-series on dealing with rejection.

When your writing has been rejected—or at least, when you perceive that it has—you respond emotionally. And that’s totally natural. We all respond emotionally when we’re hurt.

And what do we do when we’re hurt? We lash out. We want retribution. We find a way to strike back.

Here’s a mistake you want to avoid, though. Don’t lash out on social media or elsewhere in public. It could also be a blog, podcast, speech, or some other medium. The point is: don’t say anything to burn a bridge.

Unless you have an extremely good reason, you shouldn’t publicly criticize an individual or an organization. You will look petty and vindictive, you will damage relationships, you will create tension, you will probably harm future prospects and opportunities, and you will repel people with your negativity.

Some people do make a living criticizing others. Lots of pundits, YouTubers, and podcasters base their whole platform on what they are against, instead of what they are for. That’s certainly your choice if you want to take that approach, but I don’t recommend it.

Instead, here is what I DO recommend: vent somewhere in private. This is what good friends, therapists, and journals are for. But for goodness’ sake, don’t say something you will regret. In our age of instant worldwide communication, you can ruin your whole career with just a few sentences. This is exactly what Roseanne Barr did a few years ago when she got herself fired from the revival of her own TV show “Roseanne” when she posted a critical and racially insensitive tweet.

Remember, it only takes one match to burn down a bridge. In the moments when you feel like venting, hold your tongue. The damage you will do is not worth it.

Daily Question: When is the last time you said something you later regretted? What did that moment of satisfaction cost you?

The post It Only Takes One Match to Burn a Bridge Down appeared first on Daily Writer | Essential Habits for Impact & Influence.

This is the fifth entry in our mini-series on dealing with rejection.

If you saw the 2009 movie Star Trek, which was, of course, a reboot of the classic TV show, you might remember the scene where Spock gets into a fight with Kirk, then steps down from his command. The reason was that he was “emotionally compromised.” Spock knew that if he couldn’t control his emotions, it would prevent him from making good decisions as a commander.

We all feel rejection sometimes. It might come in the form of not getting the results you wanted from a project or book launch. Maybe you weren’t chosen for a writing job or position. Or you might just be having a bad day.

Whatever the source of your pain, remember to stop and assess. Take a moment to check in with yourself. When you’re in pain, the easiest thing to do is to seek comfort and validation from somewhere else. You might be tempted to turn to a substance like drugs, alcohol, or food to numb the pain. Or you might turn to an inappropriate relationship with another person who makes you feel good. You might even try to make yourself feel better by accepting work or an opportunity that’s not right for you, just to make yourself feel better.

None of those actions are good. You can’t make good decisions when you are emotionally compromised. Make sure you’re getting enough rest. Take care of yourself. Check in and assess where you are. Talk to a good friend.

Most of all, don’t do anything self-destructive and don’t make any rash decisions. We are all prone to doing stupid and self-destructive things when we feel rejected. Don’t make it worse by dragging yourself down even further.

Daily Question: What is one specific action you can take to avoid self-destructive behavior the next time you are feeling rejected? Be specific.

The post Stop and Check in With Yourself appeared first on Daily Writer | Essential Habits for Impact & Influence.

This is the fourth entry in our series on dealing with rejection.

One of the biggest paradoxes of feeling hurt is that everyone experiences it, but when you’re going through it, you feel totally alone.

This happens to every great writer, leader, and artist. Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison, Walt Disney, and Steve Jobs all faced rejection or failure at some point. But they persisted. They were resilient. They had the right attitude. They kept at it until their dreams became reality.

Did you really think success was going to come so easily? Not a chance. The trials you are going through are shaping and molding you for something greater down the road. But you won’t be able to handle that success unless you are ready for it.

If you can’t properly handle the times you feel down, you won’t be able to handle the times when you are on top. Both experiences call for disciple, focus, and persistence.

Lincoln would have never been able to handle the pressure of being President if he hadn’t gone through all the trials and rejection in his younger years. In the same way, your today is preparing you for your tomorrow. So, pay attention and get focused because your big day is coming.

Daily Question: Think about a trial or some rejection you are experiencing right now. How might it be preparing you for what is ahead?

The post You’re Being Prepared for Something Great appeared first on Daily Writer | Essential Habits for Impact & Influence.

This is the third entry in our mini-series on dealing with rejection.

The publishing world has changed radically in the last fifteen years or so. In the past, you would have to go through some kind of gatekeeper in order to get your message heard by others. This typically meant finding an agent, who would then pitch your book to publishers until one of them offered you a contract.

But you no longer need to do this. Of course, you still CAN, but there are plenty of other options, such as hybrid publishing or self-publishing. You don’t need anybody’s permission these days to get your writing out to readers.

Rejection doesn’t only happen when it comes to publishing. You can also be rejected by podcasters, social media people, book reviewers, collaborators, and clients, among others. The possibility of rejection lies around every single corner.

And so does the possibility of acceptance. As my friend Vincent Pugliese, host of The Total Life Freedom Podcast says, “Go where you’re celebrated.”

For every person who rejects you, there are a hundred who will love you. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find and gather those people. Then YOU will become the gatekeeper who has the power and credibility to help others.

Daily Question: Are you relying on any gatekeepers for your success? What can you do to move past them and create your own success?

The post You Don’t Need a Gatekeeper appeared first on Daily Writer | Essential Habits for Impact & Influence.

This is the second entry in our mini-series on dealing with rejection.

It’s happened to all of us. You had your heart set on an opportunity and it falls through. Maybe it’s a writing job, a podcast guest appearance, a collaboration, or another type of opportunity. You thought it was going to happen but now it isn’t.

As the 1960s group, The Monkees, famously sang, “Tomorrow’s Gonna Be Another Day.” Yes, rejection can be disappointing, but you have the chance today to connect with almost anyone on the planet directly. So don’t wait around for an opportunity to come knocking on YOUR door. Take the initiative and make opportunities happen. They are all around you, every single day.

The place to start is not by asking, but by giving. Start today with someone you can help, someone you can give to. When you take the focus off yourself and what you need, pretty soon the opportunities will start showing up in weird and unexpected ways. This is the very best way to take the focus off your disappointments today and start investing in tomorrow.

Daily Question: What is a way you can give or invest in someone today?

The post Tomorrow’s Gonna Be Another Day appeared first on Daily Writer | Essential Habits for Impact & Influence.

Today’s episode is the first in a seven-part series on dealing with rejection.

As writers, we deal with rejection in many forms. You can be rejected by a reader, a publisher, a literary agent, a podcaster, a beta reader, a book reviewer, a peer, and so much more. This rejection can be formal or informal, big or small. It can be direct and aggressive, or indirect and passive.

Whatever form rejection takes, one thing is for certain: IT HURTS.

And when it happens, we ask the inevitable questions like these: Why don’t they like my writing? Have I done something wrong? Why do they have to be so mean? How can I move forward now? What does everyone else think? Are they just as displeased?

Those are normal questions, but when you feel rejected, make sure and ask the most important question of all: Where is the seed of truth in their rejection?

Most of the time, in most cases, there is a kernel of truth in someone’s rejection. The person who hurt your feelings might be over the top, or maybe they went too far, but oftentimes there is a little bit of truth in every rejection or criticism.

So, look for the kernel of truth. Even if criticism or rejection is delivered in a hurtful way, it doesn’t mean the person was wrong. It just means they were wrong in their delivery. So, with as much humility as you can muster, see if there is any truth in what they said and adjust accordingly. You and your writing will be all the better for it.

Daily Question: Think of the most recent time you have been rejected or criticized. Was there any truth to it?

The post The Seed of Truth appeared first on Daily Writer | Essential Habits for Impact & Influence.

We deal with a lot of obstacles as writers, but one of the biggest is rejection.

Rejection can come in many forms. A publisher or agent can reject your book proposal. Your subscribers can reject your emails by not opening them. Your followers can reject your social media posts by not liking or sharing them. Readers can reject your books by not reading or buying them. Clients can reject your services by not signing a contract or ignoring your emails.

Whatever form rejection takes… it hurts. And let’s be honest, it can hurt pretty badly. Some writers never recover from it. So how can we deal with it?

J. K. Rowling offers some great advice. She said, “Resilience and humility. These go hand-in-hand, because rejection and criticism are part of a writer’s life. Informed feedback is useful and necessary, but some of the greatest writers were rejected multiple times.”

So, the next time you’re rejected, remember that all professionals get rejected sometimes. Nobody has a 100% batting average. Even major league baseball players only get a hit about a third of the time.

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep going. If you’ve been rejected by someone lately, join the club. It happens to the best of us sometimes. But remember: professionals not only get rejected, they also never give up.

The post Been Rejected Lately? Join the Club. appeared first on Daily Writer | Essential Habits for Impact & Influence.