Let’s talk about one of the hardest truths to swallow. Here it is: the circle of relationships that brought you to where you are is not the circle of relationships that will take you to where you want to be.

Most of us don’t like conflict. We don’t want to feel like we’re leaving others behind. This fact alone prevents a lot of people from growing because they are not willing to make tough changes to their personal and professional relationships.

You’ve probably heard about what happens in a crab basket. When you put a bunch of crabs in a basket, and one tries to crawl out, the others pull him back in. Most social and professional circles work the same way. Whenever you try to grow or improve, the people around you who don’t want to grow will try to discourage you. They may not do so directly, but they will express doubt that your plans or dreams are realistic. People will try to keep you in the crab basket of mediocrity in all kinds of ways.

Let me get personal for a moment. Once I had been teaching college for 12-13 years, I knew there was something more I wanted. I didn’t want to do that job forever because the context of our tiny college was very limiting. We had a small number of students, my salary was very limited, and there was zero potential for either one of those numbers ever increasing.

I was very friendly with the people I worked with. I still consider most of them to be friends. But none of them had any intentions of building a business. There’s nothing wrong with that at all, and they are wonderful people. But I knew that if I wanted to build a business, I had to start spending time around people who thought and dreamed bigger, and who were doing the kinds of things I wanted to do.

So, I started getting involved in mastermind groups and communities. I started taking courses and investing in myself. I started doing freelance work. I started podcasting and writing my own books. Most of the people in my day job didn’t know what to think of this because it wasn’t in their DNA to build something of their own.

I’m not talking about denying the value that some people have had in your journey. You can be grateful for a season or a phase in your life and recognize its value, while at the same time also understanding that you need to have a different focus moving forward. The two things are not mutually exclusive.

Life is a journey, and if you’re not willing to let go of some things, you won’t have room in your heart and mind for the people and things that you need to carry with you going forward. It doesn’t mean that those relationships were not important, and that you can’t still be friends. It just means that you are going in a different direction in life, and you will be spending the bulk of your time and energy around people who have the same goals as you do.

This is a very difficult thing to do. You have to do a real gut-check because it means some people in your life won’t agree with your direction, and you will not fit into your old social circles and old ways of thinking. So be prepared for that.

One more thing about all this: there will be some people who see what you’re doing and will want to join you. Make sure to make time and energy for those people who are curious about your new direction and find ways to help them.

Daily Question: Are you willing to let go of some relationships in order to make room for new ones that are more in line with your new direction in life, writing, and business? Be honest.