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Do you remember what it feels like to be criticized for your writing?
Different memories come flooding back for different people. Maybe it was in junior high, when a teacher pointed out all your mistakes. Maybe it was in college when you submitted an essay to a contest, and you didn’t even place. Maybe it was more recently, when you published a blog post or wrote a social media post that someone didn’t like … and they let you know about it in no uncertain terms.
These memories can be painful because it feels like people are criticizing us directly. They’re questioning our personal worth and stomping on our creative identity.
Don’t they know how important this work is to you? Why don’t they understand that when they criticize your work, they are taking a little bit of your heart away?
But that’s precisely the problem. We are usually far too close to our work to be objective about it. What’s more, the criticism often says more about the person doing the criticizing than it does about you.
Harper Lee, who wrote To Kill a Mockingbird, knew a thing or two about dealing with critics. You don’t write one of the most popular books of the 20th century without getting your share of criticism.
She once said, “I would advise anyone who aspires to a writing career that before developing his talent he would be wise to develop a thick hide.”
But how do we do this? How do we develop a thick skin when so much of our writing and creative work feels so personal?
The answer is simple. We must approach our writing like any professional approaches their work. The plumber, the contractor, the dentist, the attorney, the teacher … they all show up on time, put in the work, and then let it go. When something isn’t right, they try not to take it personally, but instead look for ways to get better at their job. Most important of all, they separate their personal identity from their work.
There’s an important lesson here for every writer. You are not your work. You produce your work, but your personal worth and identity are not tied to your work.
So the next time you publish your writing, wherever that might be, remember that this is not a job for thin-skinned writers. You will have your critics and haters, and when you do, remember that you are separate from the work.
If you keep that perspective, your mental health and your inner sense of security will be a lot stronger.