We all know that profound changes can happen during this phase of life, the biggest of which is that your kids leave home and you become what’s known as an “empty nester.”

When the kids are no longer at home, everything about your family life changes. I’m going through this to some degree right now since my son, Ash, is 19. He’s been out of high school a year and still lives at home, but will probably be moving out in the not-too-distant future.

If this phase of life describes you, or if it describes someone you’re close to, you’ll relate very much to our guest today. Her name is Ruthie Gray and she’s been a guest here on the podcast before, talking about Instagram marketing.

However, Ruthie recently released a new book called Empty Next Awakening: Weaving the Threads of Your Passions into Purpose. The book is really wonderful, and is a real gift to anyone in this stage of life, men or women.

Ruthie Gray is a wife, grandmother, empty nester, and marketing coach for Christian female entrepreneurs, specializing in Instagram and newsletter strategy. Her hobbies include Florida beach walks, RV-ing with her hubby, and voraciously reading historical fiction.

She is also the founder of the Authentic Online Marketing School and Insider Mentorship, and podcasts at Authentic Online Marketing. She’s getting ready to launch her Authentic Online Marketing School, which can learn more about when you visit https://authenticonlinemarketing.com.

In this conversation, Ruthie and I talk about the challenges of the empty nest phase of life, why you can still have a business even if you have a ministry, her book writing and publishing process, and much more. If you’re considering writing a book, I think you’ll be very encouraged by Ruthie’s writing experience.

The post Ruthie Gray on Chasing Your Dreams in the Second Half of Life appeared first on Daily Writer | Essential Habits for Impact & Influence.

Here’s today’s excerpt from the chapter, “X is for Xerox.”

“Xerox” is a term we don’t hear much anymore. It originally referred to the company that pioneered the photocopier, but over time it came to refer to almost any kind of copying process. Once in a while, you will still hear someone use the phrase “make a Xerox” or “Xerox that document.”

That’s okay for making copies, but not so good for making artists.

As a kid growing up in the 1980s, I idolized Michael Jackson. I loved the red zippered jacket he wore in the “Thriller” video and was jealous of the kids at school who had one. Sometimes I would try to channel the magic by putting a white marching band glove on my right hand and doing the Moonwalk. (I promise not to subject you to the horror of watching me dance.)

The problem was that I wasn’t Michael Jackson. I didn’t have his talent. I could try as hard as I wanted, but I could never be him.

The world doesn’t need another Michael Jackson. Or Leonardo da Vinci or Miles Davis. Or Picasso, Steven Spielberg, Harper Lee, Steve Jobs, or anyone else who has made great art.

What the world needs is the one and only you.

One of my favorite podcasts is The Accidental Creative by Todd Henry. I love the phrase he uses at the end of each episode: Cover bands don’t change the world.

So how do you keep from becoming an artist who’s like a cover band that plays everyone else’s hits, but has none of their own? How do you stay true to yourself and your gifts, yet still learn from others? How do you stay authentic in a world that values conformity?

There are many possible answers to those questions, but I’ll highlight four proven practices. Look into the lives of all the great artists, and you’ll see these common threads.

1. Follow your passion.

When you’re doing work that excites you, that’s when you’re the most authentic. Do you look forward to your work, or do you feel it’s sucking the life out of you?

Two helpful ways to begin following your passion are learning about your personality and discovering your strengths. There are plenty of tests available, but here are free versions of two popular ones: the DiSC personality profile, and a strengths assessment.

2. Be true to yourself.

Don’t be a people-pleaser. Staying true to yourself means that you’ll disappoint people sometimes. That’s okay. Your job is not to make everyone else happy, but rather to follow your God-given creative calling. It may take some time to get there, but you must stay on the path that makes the best use of your passion and gifts.

3. Take the road less traveled.

It’s hard to take a risk when you see others falling in line and conforming to others’ expectations at the expense of their calling. But don’t be afraid to be your own person. Whatever you do in life, you will make mistakes. So you might as well be doing something you love.

4. Hang around with dreamers.

The more you associate with successful people who believe in making dreams a reality, the more you will think like them. That’s why it’s so important to get involved with people who are positive and forward-thinking.

So let me ask you: Who is influencing your thinking these days?

When I was a kid my Dad would sometimes tell this goofy joke: “How do you catch a unique rabbit? Easy. Unique up on him.”

You, my friend, are unique. There’s no one quite like you. Never has been, never will be. If you don’t do the creative work that only you can do, you’re robbing the world of your unique gift. And that would be a tragedy.

Oscar Wilde said, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Don’t let your life become a Xerox of someone else’s dreams.

——

I hope you enjoyed that short excerpt from The Artist’s Suitcase: 26 Essentials for the Creative Journey. You can grab the book by visiting https://kentsanders.net/suitcase.

The post X is for Xerox – Excerpt from The Artist’s Suitcase appeared first on Daily Writer | Essential Habits for Impact & Influence.

Here’s today’s excerpt from the chapter, “U is for Unfinished.” (Note: This book was written when I worked at a college.)

All around the world, in homes, offices, and studios, there are unfinished works of art that will never see the light of day. Does one of them belong to you?

When I’m sitting in my college office, I see lots of great art. On the wall to my right are movie posters for two of my favorite films, Citizen Kane and The Searchers. On the wall to the left there is a print of Rembrandt’s masterpiece The Return of the Prodigal Son.

On the bookshelf beside me are models for some of my favorite vehicles, including the Millennium Falcon from Star Wars, the DeLorean from Back to the Future, and the Mach 5 from Speed Racer.

The bookshelves behind me hold hundreds of books and DVDs. The iPhone on my desk contains hundreds of songs, dozens of podcast episodes, and a few dozen apps.

And the MacBook I’m using to write this book on is a work of art in itself too.

All these items were created by people who finished their work. These products and works of art began as ideas in someone’s mind, but they didn’t stay that way. Their creators worked on the concepts (usually collaborating with others) and the ideas began to take shape. But most important, they finished their work.

This is where it’s easy to get sidetracked. You have a great idea, you start to work on it, and you build momentum. You might even share it with a few people. But then as you work on it, you start to lose steam. Life gets busy, you lose focus, and you don’t finish your work.

Sometimes our work ends up like the movie Superman Lives. You say you’ve never heard of this movie? That’s because it was never made.

In the 1990s, Warner Bros. decided to resurrect the Superman franchise. They cycled through a few directors before landing on Tim Burton, who had given the studio great success with his Batman movies.

Screenwriters worked on several drafts of a script. Production staff worked on sets and special effects. Nicholas Cage was cast as Superman and filmed screen tests with the redesigned costume.

But after years of development and endless problems, the studio shut down production. A great deal of time and energy, not to mention millions of dollars, went down the drain and Superman Lives was never finished. What could have been one of the most interesting movies from the 1990s ended up as just another “might have been.”

Everyone has a “might have been” story. It may not be a big Hollywood movie, but I’ll bet you’ve started something you’d love to finish. It might be a book, a piece of music, a painting, or something you’re building or making with your hands. You want to finish it, but you just can’t seem to find the time.

In the bottom of someone’s desk drawer, there is an Oscar-winning screenplay. It just needs to be finished.

On someone’s hard drive, there is a life-changing novel. It just needs to be finished.

In someone’s closet, there is a painting worthy of display in a gallery. It just needs to be finished.

On someone’s college transcript, there is a degree listed with most of the required classes already taken. The degree could open doors and unlock someone’s potential. It just needs to be finished.

In someone’s journal, tucked away on a bookshelf, are sketches that could be the basis for a comic strip or an animated movie. They just need to be finished.

On someone’s sketchpad are drawings for a remodeled kitchen, basement, or treehouse. They just need to be finished.

On someone’s CDs or hard drive are rough demos of Grammy-winning songs. They just need to be finished.

Is that someone you?

If so, what can you do to turn your “might have beens” into reality?

What creative art do you still have unfinished?

——

I hope you enjoyed that short excerpt from The Artist’s Suitcase: 26 Essentials for the Creative Journey. You can grab the book by visiting https://kentsanders.net/suitcase.

The post U is for Unfinished – Excerpt from The Artist’s Suitcase appeared first on Daily Writer | Essential Habits for Impact & Influence.

Here’s today’s excerpt from the chapter, “S is for Secure.”

A few years ago, our family decided to get a dog. We discovered a sweet Australian shepherd named Madison at the local animal shelter. She had been abused by her former owner and was terrified of men. It took several months before she would even let me pet her.

Madison has changed a lot over the last three years but she still needs constant affirmation. We could pet her for hours every day and it would still not fill her emotional tank. There’s a part of Madison that will always be needy and insecure.

The word insecure means “subject to fears, doubts, etc.; not self-confident or assured.” You and I can easily fall into this emotional state if we’re not careful. As artists, we crave approval and affirmation. But we can take it too far if we are not emotionally healthy ourselves. As an artist who is constantly putting your work out there, you must be secure in your identity and self-worth.

If you want to be a more secure artist, it helps to recognize the signs of insecurity. This is useful for identifying and correcting our unhealthy emotional patterns. It’s easy to see these patterns in others, yet completely miss them when it comes to our own hearts.

By the way, how do I know these five signs so well? Because I have been guilty of all of them at times. Maybe you have as well.

1. An insecure artist constantly finds fault with others.

When my son Ben was in fourth grade, I had a conversation with him about school bullies. He asked why some kids pick on others. I explained that some people feel so badly about themselves that the only way they can feel better is to drag everyone else down with them. Sadly, some people keep doing this way past the fourth grade.

2. An insecure artist can’t accept constructive criticism.

No one likes to be criticized, but even the most stinging criticism can contain a kernel of truth. An insecure person is not mature enough to see the kernel of truth and learn from it. They can dish it out, but can’t take it.

Early in my teaching career, I received a nasty email from a student. He criticized me pretty harshly about my leadership of our music program. I felt angry that he had the nerve to send me such a critical note. Plus, I wanted to dismiss his comments since he wasn’t a good student.

But in my heart, I knew the truth: there was a bit of accuracy to his statements. There were several areas in which I was coming up short.

3. An insecure artist always wonders what everybody else thinks.

He can’t make his own decisions because he is too concerned about other people’s approval. He is constantly asking what everyone else thinks about this or that.

When others give you advice, treat it like a set of crutches. They can help you move in the right direction, but rely on them too long and you’ll eventually be too weak to stand on your own.

4. An insecure artist relies on external measurements for his sense of self-worth.

There are many ways that insecure people measure their worth: their car, house, clothing, personal appearance, titles, friends and associates, income, size of their business or organization, degrees and awards, and even the success of their children.

None of these things is bad. In fact, they can all be wonderful things when put in the proper perspective. But none of them is a true measurement of your value as a person. I have known a lot of people with money, academic degrees, and all kinds of outward signs of “success,” yet who were unhappy and insecure.

You can’t base your self-worth on the shifting tides of people’s opinions and other external measurements. Instead, base your confidence on these three things:

• Knowing who you are (confidence in your gifts and purpose).
• Knowing who loves you (confidence in the unconditional love of those closest to you).
• Knowing whose child you are (confidence in your eternal standing as a beloved child of God).

5. An insecure artist sees everyone as a competitor.

He doesn’t have the emotional maturity to compliment, encourage, or publicly support others without expecting something in return. He can’t be happy for other people when they succeed; he thinks a win for someone else means a loss for him.

I mentioned this idea in the chapter on generosity, but it’s so important it bears repeating: An insecure person sees success as a limited pie where there’s only so much to go around. If you get a bigger piece, that means there’s less for me, right?

A secure person sees himself and everyone else as having unlimited potential for success. He doesn’t see others as competitors, but as fellow travelers on the creative journey. He knows that your success means his success, and vice-versa. He knows that a rising tide lifts all ships.

Secure people create art from a place of generosity.

Insecure people create art from a place of fear.

Guess which type of person has more fun? More friends? More influence and success?

——

I hope you enjoyed that short excerpt from The Artist’s Suitcase: 26 Essentials for the Creative Journey. You can grab the book by visiting https://kentsanders.net/suitcase.

The post S is for Security – Excerpt from The Artist’s Suitcase appeared first on Daily Writer | Essential Habits for Impact & Influence.

Before I do that, though, I want to give you a quick update on some changes you’ll see here on the podcast beginning December 1.

The Daily Writer podcast launched three years ago, in November 2020. Since that time, we’ve produced well over 1,000 daily episodes and featured about 150 guest interviews.

After talking so much about daily writing and the importance of writing habits, I want to shift the conversation to the biggest point of frustration I hear about from writers, which is how to actually build a business around your writing.

I’m excited to announce that on December 1, we will officially launch The Profitable Writer podcast!

The purpose of the show, as well as a book and membership community you’ll hear about very soon, is to give you the inspiration, motivation, and a clear roadmap to building a writing business that gives you a part-time or full-time income.

The format of the podcast will be different. We will still do a weekly interview, in addition to one or two other episodes per week. But it won’t be a daily podcast. (If you really love the daily format, I encourage you to go back into the archives to listen to any of the 1,000+ episodes we have there.)

You’ll hear much more in the coming weeks about The Profitable Writer podcast. You don’t need to do anything different because it will stay in this same podcast feed. However, you’ll notice a name change, along with new podcast artwork.

As always, thank you for listening, and let’s get into today’s episode.

Here’s today’s excerpt from the chapter, “B is for Blank Page.”

The blank page represents the space where you create your art. It can be a computer, studio, canvas, or a literal blank page. When you look behind the page, you’ll see two creatures: the Monster and the Muse.

First, there is the Monster. The Monster feeds on fear and likes to taunt you with these kinds of thoughts.

• This won’t be any good.
• Nobody likes what you’re doing.
• You’ll never be a real artist.
• When are you going to give up these silly dreams?

Every time you think about quitting, you feed the Monster. Every time you tell yourself your art doesn’t matter, you feed the Monster. Every time you listen to the naysayers and doubters, you feed the Monster. Every time you let your dreams slip out the back door of your life, you feed the Monster.

Steven Pressfield calls this force “Resistance.” In his landmark book, The War of Art, he writes, “Resistance has no strength of its own. Every ounce of juice it possesses comes from us. We feed it with power by our fear of it.”

The Monster feeds on fear. You must starve it to death.

But there is also the Muse. The Muse is a magical creature that brings out the best in you. The Muse speaks words of life, hope, and beauty:

• You were born for this.
• You’re making a difference in people’s lives.
• There are people who love what you’re doing.
• You have amazing potential.

The Muse feeds on faith and it is the wellspring of creativity within you. (As a person of faith, I believe God has an awful lot to do with this.) The Muse gives you the power to inspire, teach, and bless others.

Every time you pick up your pen or paintbrush, you feed the Muse. Every time you put your head down and do the work, you feed the Muse. Every time you improve your skills, you feed the Muse. Every time you serve someone with your art, you feed the Muse.

Look behind every blank page and you’ll find the Monster and the Muse. One feeds on fear. The other feeds on faith.

Which one will you feed?

——

I hope you enjoyed that short excerpt from The Artist’s Suitcase: 26 Essentials for the Creative Journey. You can grab the book by visiting https://kentsanders.net/suitcase.

The post B is for Blank Page – Excerpt from The Artist’s Suitcase appeared first on Daily Writer | Essential Habits for Impact & Influence.

As a ghostwriter and author coach, I talk to a lot of writers. Whether someone has already written a book, or they’re considering writing their first one, I hear something like these phrases quite often:

• I’m stuck.
• I don’t know what to write about.
• I don’t know how to get started.

When you get stuck in the “writer’s vortex,” it can feel debilitating with no clear way of escape.

Thankfully, my guest today has a fantastic, brand-new resource to help both aspiring and seasoned authors alike. Her name is Honorée Corder, and this past Monday, she released her newest book, There is No Such Thing as Writer’s Block: You Can Unleash Your Inner Prolific Writer.

You’ve probably heard Honorée on the podcast before, and she’s made multiple appearances here for a good reason: she’s not only a good friend, but also my business coach, and leader of the Empire Builders Mastermind, which has been an awesome resource for me the last couple of years.

Honorée Corder is the author of dozens of books, including: You Must Write a Book, You Must Market Your Book, The Prosperous Writers book series, The Bestselling Book Formula, The Successful Single Mom book series, and many more.

In this episode, we do a deep dive into several topics related to writer’s block. We talk about what it means to be a professional writer, how to remove the blocks holding you back, writing to the container of the book, surrounding yourself with other writers, and much more.

You can get There is No Such Thing as Writer’s Block on Amazon, and I also recommend signing up for Honorée’s extremely helpful email list at https://honoreecorder.com.

We also have 5 copies of the book available as a giveaway. The first 5 to leave a review of the Daily Writer Podcast on Apple Podcasts will receive a print copy in the mail. Just leave a review, take a screenshot, email it to me at kent@dailywriterlife.com along with your address, and I’ll drop it in the mail!

The post Honorée Corder on Why There is No Such Thing as Writer’s Block appeared first on Daily Writer | Essential Habits for Impact & Influence.

His calling and passion to write, incubating for decades, manifested itself through personal and professional blogging, as well as lots of published articles for various magazines.

David resides on a small farm in Hartford, Arkansas, where he enjoys long walks to the creek with his lovely wife and short walks through the field with his sheep. His other passions include writing, music, reading, cooking for their large family, and sipping on a cup of dark roast coffee as often as possible.

In this conversation, David and I talk about the main idea of his book and what it means for authors—namely, that we need to make time for space, solitude, and nature in our creative lives. David also shares his writing process for the book as well as his marketing strategies.

Most of all, I hope that if you’re thinking about writing your first book, you’ll be encouraged by David’s journey and know that you can do it too! You can connect with David at almosthomebooks.com.

The post David Steen on Writing & Marketing His First Book, “Almost Home” appeared first on Daily Writer | Essential Habits for Impact & Influence.

You enjoy being alone, which is a big benefit when trying to finish your writing. You’d mostly rather spend your time with books than people, which can help you dive deeply into literature and learning. You’d rather observe than participate, which can help you approach life like a journalist or researcher.

Those same tendencies can sometimes backfire, though.

The same strengths that help you become a great writer can make it hard for you to build an audience—which is something every writer must do.

Here are three quick tips for introverted writers on building an audience.

1. Don’t be afraid to put yourself and your writing out there.

Life is not all about observing others or writing about other people’s experiences. We want to hear what YOU have experienced and what YOU have to say about your topic.

2. Get out and have real conversations with people.

As introverts, we often live in our heads and avoid life in the real world. But this is where the action happens. Don’t think of people as “exhausting.” Instead, think of them as your best teachers and the reason you do what you do.

3. Don’t over-analyze this process.

Just start writing and course-correct as you go. You have to let go of the need to be perfect and have it all figured out. Just relax, get to work, and know you are intelligent and will figure it out as you go along.

Your greatest strength can also be your greatest weakness. Don’t get sucked into the lie that people are the enemy. You’re there to serve them, enjoy them, and learn from them.

Today’s Challenge: Choose one of these three tips and put it into practice today. Don’t wait or over-analyze it.

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When the hero puts on their costume, they are a courageous individual who rushes into the battle to save lives. But in order to conceal their true identity, they adopt a mild-mannered persona that is the total opposite of their superhero personality.

Batman is secretly Bruce Wayne, an aloof billionaire playboy.

Susan Storm of the Fantastic Four is secretly a scientist.

Spider-Man is secretly Peter Parker, a nerdy newspaper reporter.

Superman is secretly Clark Kent, another nerdy newspaper reporter.

Wonder Woman is secretly Diana Prince, an ambassador to the United Nations.

Superheroes aren’t the only ones who live double lives. We writers can develop an alter-ego if we’re not careful.

It’s easy to appear bold and brave on the page… but how do you handle the challenges of real life? Let me ask you a few tough questions:

Are you dealing with your personal problems head-on, or are you avoiding them?

Do you engage in conversations about hard things, or do you shut down when you’re confronted by a truth you don’t want to hear?

Would the people who know you best describe you as brave? Focused? Determined? Disciplined? Or would they say you’re aloof, timid, or uncaring?

It’s hard to face your real-life problems instead of running away from them. And it’s easy to turn to substance abuse or other unhealthy patterns as you try to escape from reality.

Henry David Thoreau said, “How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.”

Just because you’re a writer, it doesn’t give you the license to check out of real life. You need to show up on the stage of life where the action is happening.

Nobody is perfect. But your writing should reflect the person you are trying to become—bold, brave, and above all, a true-life superhero to the people you love the most.

Today’s Challenge: Think about the past twenty-four hours. What did you do that was brave, bold, or fearless?

The post Before You Sit Down to Write, Stand Up to Live appeared first on Daily Writer | Essential Habits for Impact & Influence.

Pantsers prefer to write by the “seat of their pants.” They develop a great opening and then discover the story as they write. Pantsers get bored if they know where the whole story is going ahead of time.

By contrast, plotters like to carefully outline the story before they begin writing. They need to know where the story is going or they can’t start.

Both approaches can work for fiction. But plotting doesn’t work so well when it comes to your real-life journey as a writer.

The writing life is unpredictable. You don’t know where it is going. Every piece of writing you produce is a new opportunity to reach people. Not only that, but your skill grows every time you publish.

When you combine all that with the constant changes in technology today, there is no way to predict where anything is going.

You can’t plot out your life. There’s no need to figure everything out ahead of time. Just do the work every day and enjoy the journey. If you knew the ending ahead of time, it wouldn’t be any fun, now would it?

Today’s Challenge: If someone could magically tell you how your own story ends, would you listen? Or would you rather it be a surprise?

The post You Can’t Plot Out Your Life appeared first on Daily Writer | Essential Habits for Impact & Influence.