We writers have a reputation for taking everything personally. Many of us would describe ourselves as introverted artists who are highly sensitive. As such, we tend to absorb other people’s emotions and have a hard time letting things go.

Am I right? Or am I right?

This can make it hard when trying to build an audience and keeping your readers in mind. Here’s one way to approach life: take nothing personally. Remember that every comment, every review, everything other people say has more to do with their perspective and emotional state than it does you.

This is where your skills of observation as a writer can come in handy. Whenever someone says something you don’t like, or makes a negative or critical observation, examine it like a doctor does a patient. See if it’s true and make a correction if needed. But do so without emotion or feeling that it reflects on your personal worth or identity.

Nobody said this was easy. It’s not. But it’s absolutely necessary if you are going to keep your sanity and remain emotionally healthy.

Daily Question: Would you say it’s hard or easy for you to not take things personally? Why or why not?

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This is the fifth entry in our mini-series on dealing with rejection.

If you saw the 2009 movie Star Trek, which was, of course, a reboot of the classic TV show, you might remember the scene where Spock gets into a fight with Kirk, then steps down from his command. The reason was that he was “emotionally compromised.” Spock knew that if he couldn’t control his emotions, it would prevent him from making good decisions as a commander.

We all feel rejection sometimes. It might come in the form of not getting the results you wanted from a project or book launch. Maybe you weren’t chosen for a writing job or position. Or you might just be having a bad day.

Whatever the source of your pain, remember to stop and assess. Take a moment to check in with yourself. When you’re in pain, the easiest thing to do is to seek comfort and validation from somewhere else. You might be tempted to turn to a substance like drugs, alcohol, or food to numb the pain. Or you might turn to an inappropriate relationship with another person who makes you feel good. You might even try to make yourself feel better by accepting work or an opportunity that’s not right for you, just to make yourself feel better.

None of those actions are good. You can’t make good decisions when you are emotionally compromised. Make sure you’re getting enough rest. Take care of yourself. Check in and assess where you are. Talk to a good friend.

Most of all, don’t do anything self-destructive and don’t make any rash decisions. We are all prone to doing stupid and self-destructive things when we feel rejected. Don’t make it worse by dragging yourself down even further.

Daily Question: What is one specific action you can take to avoid self-destructive behavior the next time you are feeling rejected? Be specific.

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