It also has a downside: jealousy and bad feelings from seeing all the wins that other writers are having. We don’t see the struggle, failure, or heartaches that went into creating those wins.

That’s why you need to celebrate every inch of progress you’re making as a writer.

Did you write some words today? That’s a win.

Did you learn something about publishing? That’s a win.

Did you attend a session for your writing group? That’s a win.

Did you have lunch or set up a chat with another writer? That’s a win.

Did you talk to an editor or graphic designer about your next book project? That’s a win.

Did you spend some time marketing? That’s a win.

Whatever you did today to further your writing and author business, you won. Remember the fable about the tortoise and the hare? The tortoise won because he kept plodding along, making constant progress.

Slow and steady wins the race. The only person you need to keep score against is the person you were yesterday. All progress is progress!

Today’s Challenge: Find an author who has recently posted a win on social media and congratulate them on making consistent progress and getting a cool win. Then, see what you can learn from them.

The post All Progress is Progress appeared first on Daily Writer | Essential Habits for Impact & Influence.

As it turns out, the best way to help yourself is to be more generous with others. The key is that jealousy is rooted in taking. Generosity is rooted in giving.

You can be generous in a million different ways. The point is to find another person who you can help in some way. It doesn’t need to involve a big plan, or even cost you anything. Just keep your eyes and ears open, and you’ll be surprised at the simple ways you can help others.

Since you’re a writer, I would recommend that the very best place to start is by buying someone’s book and sharing it on social media. That’s a simple, yet very effective way to support a writer. And in the process of thinking more about how to help others rather than fixating on what other people are doing and feeling bad about yourself, you will begin to transform your emotions.

Daily Question: Who is one writer in your circle whose book you can purchase and share?

The post How Can You Help? appeared first on Daily Writer | Essential Habits for Impact & Influence.

As writers, sometimes we see another person’s success and believe we should have it as well. But when you stop and think about it, the logic doesn’t add up.

Creativity is like a thumbprint. Everyone has creative gifts (whether they realize it or not), and everyone has something unique to offer the world. Creativity is like the thumbprint of your soul.

You may not believe you’re unique, but you are. You are a one-of-a-kind combination of personality, experiences, gifts, and passions that hasn’t existed before, and will never exist again.

So, if you don’t believe you are a unique creation, and you don’t use your writing gift as the limitless potential it truly is… you are selling yourself short.

Where do we get tripped up? It happens when we see others writing about topics that are similar to ours. It’s easy to think, “That person is writing about the same topics I write about, and he or she is more successful, so that invalidates my writing.”

This is good news because it proves that there is an audience for your writing. You should never worry about creative competition. Two people can take the same topic, or even the same basic story, and write two completely different things.

Look at it in terms of music. How many songs about lost love have you heard over the years? Probably thousands. They all focus on the same subject and use the same twelve notes on the musical scale. The vast majority of them are in 4/4 time and use a variation of the rhythm section: bass, drums, guitar, keys. Some will throw in horns or strings.

Yet we never complain about the similarities between songs. Why? Because there is an infinite number of variations on the same theme, using the same basic creative tools (instruments).

The same is true for writing. There is an infinite number of variations on the same themes and topics. Don’t worry about another person’s strengths and success. They are traveling on their own writing journey. Don’t spend your life trying to sing someone else’s tune. Trying to copy another person’s success makes about as much sense as wishing you had their thumbprint.

Instead, focus on your own unique journey and how you can bring more of your writing, and your own story, into the world.

Daily Question: What is a unique perspective that you, and only you, can bring to your writing?

The post What Do You Offer That is Unique? appeared first on Daily Writer | Essential Habits for Impact & Influence.

In the previous two entries in this series, we have taken a look at the destructive nature of jealousy, and why you should focus on what you can do to make yourself successful rather than spending your emotional energy being envious.

Let’s dive into three questions that will help you focus on attitudes and actions that will spur your writing success. We’ll tackle the first one here today. Also, notice that each one begins with “what.”

The first question is: What can I learn from this person?

When you think of another writer who is successful, and if you’re honest, you’re jealous of them, they have something you want. They might have better name recognition, more income, more people’s attention, or more of something else. I can easily tick off two dozen writers in my own orbit who fit this category.

When we’re jealous of someone, we begin to think of them in a negative light. At our worst, we wish they weren’t so successful. That’s why jealousy is so insidious and destructive. At its worst, jealousy is less about wanting someone’s success and more about wanting their failure.

We need to flip this scenario around. Instead of wanting to take away someone else’s success, we should figure out how we can get to their level. What people, books, habits, and experiences helped them be successful?

If they have a blog, subscribe to it. If they wrote a book, read it. If they have a Facebook group, join it. If they are on Twitter, ask them questions.

That person has done some things that can help you be more successful. So set aside your own ego for a moment and humbly ask, “What can I learn from this person?” It will change your own attitude and also help you focus on tangible activities that produce results for you.

Daily Question: Think of another writer more successful than you. What are three things they have done that you can start doing in your own writing or business as well?

The post What Can You Learn from a Successful Writer? appeared first on Daily Writer | Essential Habits for Impact & Influence.

Have you ever felt like you live in a room with invisible walls that have you trapped? You’re trapped by questions like this:

Why does that so-and-so writer get all the attention?

Why do they have more book sales?

Why is my blog traffic so stagnant?

Why isn’t anyone paying attention to me?

Sound familiar?

If you have ever had these kinds of questions, stop and realize that there is no connection between another person’s success and yours. The invisible walls aren’t real. They only exist in your mind, and there is nothing—and no one—that stands in the way of your success.

When you engage in this kind of comparison thinking, it’s because of a poverty mentality. This type of thinking says: There’s only so much success to go around. You must horde everything for yourself.

The opposite of a poverty mentality is an abundance mentality. This line of thinking goes: There is more than enough to go around. Success breeds success. We can help each other.

How do you move from a poverty mentality to an abundance mentality? How do you stop playing the zero-sum game? How do you vanquish the spirit of jealousy and cultivate a spirit of generosity?

The secret is to shift your vocabulary and begin asking the right questions.

In his classic business book QBQ! The Question Behind the Question: Practicing Personal Accountability at Work and in Life, John G. Miller says that we need to change our questions in order to move away from a blame and victim mentality. Instead of focusing on “why” questions, focus on “what” or “how” questions.

The question that spurs our jealousy is, “Why do they have ______, and I don’t?” The problem with “why” questions is that they shift the responsibility away from ourselves and onto others. The only way to create the success you desire is to take 100% responsibility for your life.

“Why” questions keep us focused on external things we can’t control, such as other people’s actions and motivations. It’s much better to ask questions focused on “what”—what you can do, what you can control, what you can learn. After all, the only thing you can truly control is yourself and your actions.

All the emotional energy we spend on being jealous of other people and their success is much better invested in activities that help us be successful.

Daily Question: What is one single activity, that if you practiced it consistently, could help you be more successful as a writer?

The post Ask What, Not Why appeared first on Daily Writer | Essential Habits for Impact & Influence.

If you’re alive and breathing, you have struggled with jealousy. It’s part of the human condition.

But for most writers, jealousy is more than an occasional struggle. It’s a daily battle that threatens our very souls. It’s nearly impossible for us to separate ourselves from our creative work. It’s part of who we are.

When we see other writers who we perceive as more successful, or who have something we want, it’s difficult not to feel jealous. The question foremost in our minds is, “Why do they have ______, and I don’t?” (Fill in the blank with success, fame, money, social media followers, downloads, a book contract, or a million other things.)

But this is the wrong question, and here’s why: It’s based on a destructive lie about success. The lie goes something like this: When someone else succeeds, it means I have failed.

When we see other people enjoying their fame, money, accolades, or other types of success, we interpret it as a reflection on ourselves. Why do they get to enjoy success? Am I not worthy of the same success? Why do they get to have something that I don’t?

This is called a “zero-sum game.” When one person wins, another person loses. A positive balance in someone’s ledger means a negative balance in mine.

But it’s a myth. We know it isn’t true on an intellectual level, but our creative egos are fragile. The result? We emotionally interpret their success as a judgment against our own perceived lack of success.

Don’t buy the lie. One writer’s success doesn’t have anything to do with yours. The two things are not related. In fact, you can use that person’s success to help yourself be more successful.

Daily Question: Who is another writer you feel jealous about? How does it make you feel to know their success is not related to yours?

The post Their Success Doesn’t Mean Your Failure appeared first on Daily Writer | Essential Habits for Impact & Influence.